Fatally Clumsy

I almost did not make it home from China last November 1. Last call for boarding at the Nanning airport, I check my pocket and my plane ticket was not there. By all accounts I was red in the face, running around the departure area. There was no use asking around, they don't speak English. I didn't see Tom Hank's "The Terminal," but I was about to live out the film first hand, until I looked down on the floor and saw my ticket. I was shaking nervous on the plane to Hong Kong. I was so relieved I didn't mind the turbulence, the styrofoam-quality biscuits and the Pepsi bottles with the Koreanovela guy on it.

I came to China expecting Peking duck, dimsum, and spring rolls. I was disappointed, the food was so fishy and bland the best meal I had during my six-day stay was a KFC takeout. When not near fastfood, I hoarded dried up mini siopao and salt-less fries on the hotel buffet. I'm not only fatally clumsy, I'm also a brat.

The Lijiang River in Guilin was postcard-perfect but the cruise took four excruciating hours. An hour longer and I would have stabbed the driver and sailed to shore myself. Inside the SM Mall in Jinjiang, it's almost like you're in Manila, except that the "We've got it all for you" jingle is in Chinese and Jet Li is on the outside billboard.

I also did not get to go to a night market. Our one night off and the tour guide brought us to a Rustan's level mall. I asked one sales clerk where the wash room was, I knew she wouldn't understand so I mimed washing my hands. She comes back two minutes later with a pail of water.

I was in China to cover the President but since this is not an official blog, I will not bore myself writing about stories I wrote. Instead, here's a picture of Her Excellency.